Day 15: I’ll have what she’s having

Thought for the Day: Just because a woman is skinny doesn’t mean that she’s healthy. The struggles are similar, just in a different size package.

One problem with trying to eat healthy is when you sit down next to a skinny girl who wolfs down everything on her plate. It makes me want to say, “I’ll have what she’s having.” A similar frustration pops up when Ms. Petite picks up her kids in a cute tennis outfit that I could never wear.

The paradox of comparing ourselves to other people is that we become blind to what we already have in the face of what we don’t have. Our hearts are drawn into a place of assumption. We assume that everything is great for those who possess what we lack.

But here’s the kicker. Everyone has not-so-great aspects their lives, things that they will have to learn to surrender or sacrifice. Sure, my size-two friend could eat all the snacks she wanted, but she’s got other struggles for which she has to depend on God. For instance, consider that skinny girl in your life who eats whatever she wants and makes you think, “How unfair.” Yet listen to what she might say in return, as someone once shared with me: “I am one of the skinny girls, but don’t mistake skinny for healthy. I battle depression, self-esteem issues, and verbal abuse. The list seems endless. Being little doesn’t make a person any more happy or faithful or joyful. The struggles are similar, just in a different size package.”

Life as a Christ follower will always be a learning process of depending less on our own strength and more on God’s power. James 1:3-4 says,

The testing of your faith develops perseverance, and perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature, complete, not lacking anything.

Why not make this a daily prayer, first thing in the morning: “God, I recognize that I am made for more than the vicious cycle of being ruled by food, body image, and comparing myself to others. I am thankful that You made my body unique in ways that I can serve You and in ways that turn my reliance upon You. I need to eat to live, not live to eat. So I keep asking for Your wisdom to know what to eat and Your indwelling power to walk away from things and thoughts that are not beneficial for me.”

Oh sweet sisters, this truth should be the cry of our souls and drown out Satan’s lie that “she has it easier.” Our taste buds crave many things to satisfy, but only persevering with God will make us truly full.

Comments

  1. Lysa, thank you for this ministry! Some real gems in today’s challenge:
    – being slim will not make me any more happy or faithful or joyful – I choose to be content, faithful and joyful NOW
    – being Christ’s disciple means always learning to depend less on my own strength and more on God’s power – l’ve never been slim, even as a kid; losing weight AND keeping it off has always been sth I cannot do in my own capacity (I’ve been successful in some other areas of my life, but not here…), so I really, really need to depend on God on this journey and am loooking forward to Him demonstrating His power
    – ‘I am thankful that You made my body unique in way (…) that turn my reliance upon You’ – I’ve no choice but to rely on God here.
    Thank you for theses insights! I also watched the webcast #2 yesterday and was greatly inspired.
    To all you Sisters out here on his journey, may it build our perseverance and bring us closer to our wonderful Creator and loving Father. Amen.

  2. Needed to see this today…..having a fat day and feeling like I am failing on many levels with food. Good to get perspective.

    • Robin Le. says:

      Hey there,

      I feel ya. I had one of those days yesterday. But God… Thats what we have to remember, But God he has the final say so and all of our cares and wows are in his hands. Love ya be blessed.

  3. Ok, Lysa. I’m already swinging into a panic. And why might this be? We are over half way through this 21 day encouragement feast that you are providing us with. So, I better say it now….my mind and whole being resonate with the writing style that you have. Although I continue to struggle, for today, thus far, I’ve made healthy choices.

    Also, to the sweet Geek aid you have, I didn’t mind not getting this till today…so don’t be a fretting on my account!

    Thanks for being yielded to the Holy Spirit and his promptings. Karin

  4. Lysa,
    I used to be that “skinny girl”. I worked very hard after having 3 kids, weighing about 180 and 5′ 4 1/2″. wearing size 14. worked very hard to get down to a size 8 (weighing about 120). I know to some that may seem small, but to me (size 5 when I met my husband) I was huge adjustment allowing those “extra sizes” go. I was healthy, able to keep up with my very active kids, Then I had a car accident in 1998, then another sever accident in 2004 (head injury)that has made all that weight come back. I’m trying to not let food be my “go to” so I don’t eat anything. I get depressed I eat even less. Now without a job, I snack when I can, but make sure there’s food for the other people in my home. I used to enjoy buying all the “good foods” at the store and preparing them for my family, now I have just enough energy to get off the couch and do meanial tasks around the house. I know
    Getting these daily encouragements have been great, because I do push myself one step further everyday no matter the pain.
    I not writing this for sympathy, or for others to feel bad where they’re at, I’m writing this to give encouragement, because everyone needs a cheerleader. I don’t have any in my life right now, and these daily e-mails ARE my cheerleader.
    So, thank you Lysa for the honestly coming from your heart.
    She

    • Father God, I come on She’s behalf right now. I ask that you lift her up and out of that depressive state, that if it is in your will, that you open doors of employment. And if you don’t want her to be employed in the traditional manner, Lord provide income. Allow this to be a time she dives into your love. The ministry that needs to be birth through her, God give her vision and give her peace! Allow her heart to be open to receive your tender mercy, love and grace! God move, God move, God move!!

      In Jesus name,
      Amen

    • Dear She,
      It’s been over a year since you wrote this post and I have just begun this journey with Lysa and the 21-day Challenge. I am very interested in hearing how you are, where you are in your walk with the Lord and what He has done for you in this past year. God knows the desires of our hearts but He also knows sometimes He allows us to wait and depend on Him. I’ve been there … single 11 years before I met my current husband (after 2 bad marriages and before Christ).

      I pray He has done things beyond your desires … if not … don’t give up! God will make a way, when there seems to be no way!
      God bless,
      Betty

  5. Lysa,
    Thank you so much for this post. I am one of those “skinny girls” that can eat whatever I want and up until I reached 40 didn’t have to concern myself much with what I ate sticking around. HOWEVER, to your such beautiful and accurate point, everyone struggles. In my early 20’s, I went to a new doctor because he was closer to my work place and I needed a physician for my migranes. Being a new patient, he wanted to do the “works” on me. When the blood tests came back, we were both really surprised to learn my cholesterol number was 245, yes 245 in my early 20s!!! I got a stern but very truthful lecture from this doctor who I gained alot of respect for. So, this “skinny girl” may be small on the outside but there’s some serious build up going on inside unless some changes are made and I still struggle with this. My struggle is not as much how much food as it is exercise and choosing healthy foods. So, there are struggles for all of us no matter the size but the most precious thing is that our mighty Lord and Savior has no “size”, He is I AM….limitless in what He can do, does do and the love He has for us because HE made each of us for His very own special purpose. So next time Satan tempts you to be disgusted with the “skinny girl” nearby, smile a sweet smile at her say a prayer remembering, what sticking to others on the outside may very well be sticking to her on the inside..of her arteries and she needs help in her struggles as well. I’d love to be uplifted in prayer to conquer my addiction to Coca-Cola! God bless all you ladies and let each of us remember “I can do ALL things through Christ which strengthens me” Phil 4:13. All of you are such encouragement!! Blessings ladies.!!

    • Dear Lord,

      I want to lift “L” up to you with all of her struggles and her addiction to Coke-Cola. We know by proof by your word that we are made for more, please hold “L” in your living arms when she feels like she needs her drug of choice Coke-Cola. In your name I pray, Amen

  6. Thank you for your reminders, Lysa—and now that I’m a thinner version of myself—wayyy thinner—-I can vouch for the fact that the struggles can still remain exactly the same. I praise God that He remains the same, too, and helps me with temptations and fears and struggles in all my stages of weight loss, body image and acceptance. Yay, God!

  7. We were just discussing a mutual acquaintance today who is between a size 0 and 2, who is obsessed with her weight, looks immaciated, and has been sick with one infection after another since before Christmas. I feel sad for her and then it hit me that I should be praying for her. Life isn’t easy for any of us, no matter how thin. Thin is not the answer, Jesus Christ is and having a personal relationship with Him. Thank You, God, for helping me see beyond the superficial.

  8. I was having this discussion with my husband recently. Since he’s in the military (I was, too, a few years back), people tend to think they can say a thing or two to him about my weight, every so often, which puts pressure on him to “encourage” me to make the process speed up. Ever had a thin guy who has never been fat or had a food issue try to help you lose weight, try to help you do it? Add his military background, plus growing up a Special Forces brat – yeah – he doesn’t have the kind of encouragement that really meshes with what I’m needing. 🙂

    So, in our talks, I have been opening his eyes to the fat that, yes, I have had a problem with food, and yes, that is apparent…to everyone that sees me. Everyone can see where my weakness lies – because I wear it everyday. But, you can’t see everyone’s weaknesses. The chain smoker doesn’t wear her chain smoking on her back, the adulterer can hide his adulterous ways his entire marriage, and he doesn’t show any sign of it in his outer appearance, the alcoholic is an evening-only “at the house” alcoholic”, but super great math teacher by day – he doesn’t wear a sign either. But, I happen to eat a few too many, well I would say more than a few Little Debbie snacks, and people would look down on me, because I am out of control with my eating.

    You know, I can’t change the way the world pictures me, but I can change the way I look at myself, more lovingly and with respect. God has been by my side the whole time, just waiting for me to ask for His help – the moment I did, He covered me with His love and has been helping me ever since. Success. No worries about where I will be in this journey next week, next month, next year. Health is in my future. He wants it for me.

    • Thanks for sharing Bri! I love that you said, “I can change the way I look at myself, more lovingly and with respect.” I needed to hear this.

    • Hi I have a husband that always says he could teach me how to loose weight. Has never been fat in his life,, he eats too much too, but he’s the on with border line diabetes,, and now needs more prayer, losing function in his kidneys,, I am on blood pressure meds, and need to loose at least 40 to50 pounds.. I’ve been reading the challenges, and I do think before I eat , a lot of time,, I still eat after I’m full. Sorry, I just enjoy eating,, and I do think it is going back to comfort food.. at the time I’m eating,, I rationalize, just a little more won’t hurt, and it’s healthy foods. I do want to Glorify God in every thing I do, We both are helping in a ministry for disabled . They ,some of our friends ,think we owe them our time, and lots of time ,we don’t get our own stuff done,, doing theirs. I need prayer for choosing what God would have us do, in all situations, because it all looks like a good deed, when we are sacrificing,, so my husband calls it, too much to do. I do love being in the family of God,doing His will, as much as I can tell which is best.

    • Bri:

      “Ever had a thin guy who has never been fat or had a food issue try to help you lose weight, try to help you do it? Add his military background…” I am right there with you Sister. My husband has no idea why food is such a struggle for me and ‘his brand of encouragement’ is not encouraging at all. This 21-Day Challenge has been such a blessing for me. Although you tell yourself you are not alone, reading these testimonies is proof! I know that I am not alone in my struggle and God has provided help and helpers. Be blessed everyone!

  9. Heather P says:

    What makes it even harder at times is having to make the choices for your child as well. We learned last year the our Down Syndrome daughter was already having elevated glucose levels and cholesterol levels. She was 10 years old at the time. Mom got busy and changed some things to be a little healthier. Having this study has had a major influence on my life already and is hopefully helping me make better choices for my daughter as well.

  10. Angela Kelley says:

    Ok, Ladies. Just wanted to encourage you with this……..I just read chapter seven last night. BUT, I really didn’t “get this” until yesterday when I finally decided that I can’t have the knowledge from this book and scripture and continue to reject God’s power. BUT, on the way home from work yesterday I cried. Yep. I creid. I got in my car and started home and instead of feeling victorious about depending on the Holy Spirit’s power to resist temptation through the work day, I cried becuase I thought about how much more time I had left to struggle till the end of the day!!!!! Sisters, what has hit the hardest through this journey is that I have the same Holy Spirit in me that raised Jesus from the dead! WOW! Pretty amazing. Let me tell you what has worked for me this day (and yesterday). I go around singing that song, “The same power that conquered the grave lives in me, lives in me.” It helps. 🙂
    Journey on ladies. God will give us the peace we need each and every day when we look to Him.
    Angela

  11. Sandralucia Ekechi says:

    I cant help but thank God for using you mightily. Today Aπϑ yesyerday’s message has touched me in a special manner. I’m a Nigerian, overweight Aπϑ 27years old; Aπϑ most of our diet is really starchy but I trust God Aπϑ know he’s in control…

  12. shannon brown says:

    Wow!! The one issue I have really battled with lately, is the fact, that I will have to be on a “Diet” my whole life, and how unfair that seems to be. Why did God make me one of the people here on earth that has to watch every little thing I eat??!! At times that question has made me very angry and at other times it swallows me up with self pity… I still struggle some days, but it is getting better. I am made perfect by God, and I am trying to come to terms, with the fact, that thin people have battles everyday as well, but they are different battles. God is leading me thru this journey to draw me closer to Him, and I hope He equips me with knowledge so I can reach out to other people who are battling the same things. I have an addiction no different than people who suffer with alchohol, drug, gambling, and sexual demons. But, I will conquer this with God’s help, and hopefully will become an awesome witness for Him….

  13. I have a special needs son and I have realized that my challenges are nothing compared to his – what right do I have to complain about my cellulite when my son can’t do most of the things I can do- like talk or see?! This body gave me two beautiful kids – and my heart is grateful! I still want to fit into my little jeans, yes, but that helps me kwpw it in perspective!!

  14. I am so encouraged by the posts here…just praying the prayer of Jabez from the Scripture I Chronicles 4:10 for all of us…Lord, bless us indeed. Do something so big in our lives that it will be obvious it is from You. Increase our influence and opportunities to make a difference for You. Give us a sense of Your continual presence and direction as we make decisions. Protect us and keep us from falling into satan’s traps. In Jesus’ name we pray, amen.
    blessings,
    beth

  15. I am the skinny person, size 4. I am the mother of 4 teenage boys. They are 14, 15, 16, and 16. We adopted one and are fostering one who is special needs. Everyday is a new challenge; my stress level is a lot. I have enjoyed the 21 day challenge, regardless of our size everyone can get something from this. I get through each day with a F.R.O.G. – fully rely on God, with everything in my daily life. I promise my struggles are abundant; they may not be with food, but with everything else.

  16. Beth Williams says:

    Lysa,

    Good insights today. Loved the part where “everyone has things they need to sacrifice to God.”

    Really loved the prayer”“God, I recognize that I am made for more than the vicious cycle of being ruled by food, body image, and comparing myself to others. I am thankful that You made my body unique in ways that I can serve You and in ways that turn my reliance upon You. I need to eat to live, not live to eat. So I keep asking for Your wisdom to know what to eat and Your indwelling power to walk away from things and thoughts that are not beneficial for me.” Especially the comparing myself to others, for I am bad at doing that constantly and making myself miserable in the meantime.

    I must realize I was made just as God had intended me and realize my strengths and weaknesses and Crave Him more than anything else.

  17. Mary Colleen says:

    Because God has no favourites and loves us all the same we can rest in His assurrance that He is our Saviour and Lord of our lives. He is strongest when we are at our weakest….just lean on Him. Thank you Lysa for your morning prayer. A special and unique lady you are…..God Bless

  18. Thanks for this Lysa. I am thin – and fairly healthy from the outside now – but I battled an eating disorder (compulsive exercise and undereating) through high school and college and though my weight is in a “healthy” range now, the struggle remains every day. I was severely underweight at the time. I had to pray before starting your book that I wouldn’t read it for the wrong reasons. My struggle now is mindless snacking – escaping into a box of cereal or a bite of this and bite of that. I still exercise and you wouldn’t guess by my size that I have this battle. I’m an all or nothing girl – I want to be beyond stuffed or still hungry. It’s a comfort thing. In essence, I avoid intimacy with God and others through never letting myself just be “normal” or “comfortable.” There’s a lot more to it than that, but as someone that many would call a “skinny girl” (even if I’m not as skinny as I used to be), I struggle on a daily basis with giving it all to God – and turning to Him instead of to food. I have to choose not to “over-exercise” or let my life be controlled by when/how I will workout and when/what I’ll eat. I don’t mind what I see when I look in the mirror most of the time (especially from the shoulders up), but hate what I see in my heart. Thank you for acknowledging we all have struggles – the same struggles really since it’s not about food and our bodies (that’s just how it manifests itself) – some are just in different packages (and easier to hide)

  19. Emma Twymon says:

    Thank you so much for this. It took a lot for me to realize I have an eating disorder. It was hard to admit. I pray every morning before I get out of bed for God to take control of my eating, to let me eat to live, not to live to eat. God had taught me to love me because He made me, if He loves me where I am, why can’t I? I have learned to love me and also accept the fact that I have an eating disorder. I am taking it one day at a time and filling myself with the word of God. I thank you so much for sharing your story and helping your sisters by sharing the word of God. To all my sisters, stay encouraged and take it one day at a time.

  20. Thank you for that prayer!!! I am printing it out and will use it daily!! Merry Christmas!!!!

  21. I am having to do some serious positive self talk to encourage myself. I know God is faithful, so I will persevere.

  22. I have always been tall and fairly thin. I love sweets. I tend to overindulge during the holidays and on vacation and put on extra pounds. I don’t have the struggle that many of you do, but my struggles are my own. I want to look my best. That thin firm girl is still what my mind wants to see. I am over 50 now and my best isn’t quite so good any more. What I have learned is that healthy eating makes me feel better. When I was young had had alot of anxiety issues. I do much better now. I have much more energy when I am excercising and eating right. I need to rely more on knowing that I am beautiful in God’s eyes. We don’t need to worry about the eyes of the world. There we never quite measure up.

  23. Please pray for me !! I needed this today !!

  24. Im struggling…i will pray for all of you today…please pray

    for me…..carol in new york

    • Hi you all, I’ve read all the post
      It is so encouraging to hear the
      real life storys from my sisters in
      Christ. You all have lifted my
      spirit. I pray that you all will
      continue on your new walk in
      Him. I’m sure with our Lord we
      will make it…I pray. Smiles:)
      April B.

  25. Okay, I’m not going to say I don’t have a problem with comparing and feeling jealous any more because as soon as I do, I will! Take heed she who thinks she stands for she will fall!!!! I will say that I’m thankful that I’m more content with my own struggles and I do realize that although others don’t have a weight issue, they have other issues that can be just as debilitating in other areas of their lives. My husband wisely says that if we all put our struggles on a huge table and had to choose, we would probably take our own back and not someone elses. I have thought about that and I believe he is right……..for once!!!! Just kidding dear! 🙂

  26. My sister who is two years younger than me, has always been skinny and eats whatever she wants all the time. I spent a good part of my life comparing myself to her. I have always had to watch what I eat, and she never has. I used to believe it was unfair, but like you say, she has her own problems that make my struggle with my weight look insignificant. I need to stop looking to others, and look at the person that God desires me to be. I need to look to him as my deliverer and my strength!

  27. Love the prayer in todays article. I have written it in my journal and will be using it often. Relying on God’s strength in this area of my life is a struggle. I know that He is using this to teach me….. I will persevere and in His strength I will be victorious!!!! Love that He loves me enough to show me His way around obstacles. There is ALWAYS HOPE IN HIM AND HIS WAYS. God will bless each of us today and forever.
    Looking for an accountability partner. Reply to this message and we will hook up either by email or facebook.

  28. Maria E Taronji says:

    I am the oldest of seven children. Me and the youngest are the fatest. The diference is that i have four children and she dont have any. Almost all of my sisters are skinny they eat whatever they want. I also have the next sister after me that she lost weight because she wont eat too much. Personaly my opinion is that everyone is diferent why we can accept each other? I am thirty pounds overweight and i am beautiful and have self confidence. When i marry i weight 118 pouns i had already a child, now i weight 170 pounds and my husband still loves me and is faithfull. So i dont get it. I rather do this to have a relationship with God instead of food. Second because i am diabetic type two but is under control. I do oberve the world and i see so many beautiful skinny and profesional family members or friens and i see because the way they are they are ALONE! My children are gone now and im in the stage of life that its all about me. Now i can eat healthy move more I have freedom and no matter if im overweight its about enjoying life and make the most out of it!

  29. AWESOME TRUTH I LIKE MYSELF BUT,I REALLY LIKE MYSELF WHEN I EAT RIGHT & MOVE MORE BCUZ SELF-ESTEEM IS GOOD EVEN FOR CHRISTIANS & GOD IS CONCERNED ABOUT EVERY LITTLE THING EVEN BEING AT OUR BEST INSIDE & OUT!!!

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